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Sunday, 30 August 2009

  • i wanna know how it feels to be in love with someone who will make the stars fall out the sky..
     
    Ever feel like you give so much, but only get so little in return? I'm not asking for much, I just want you to be there for me..for you to keep your word..yet time and time again, I find myself alone..just waiting for you to keep your promise. why is it so hard? Do I really not mean that much to you? Is this relationship really not that valuable? We've gone through so much, don't tell me that all of our efforts have gone to waste..
     
    I want us to make it..I want to prove them wrong. But I can't do this on my own..I need you to be with me every step of the way. Don't tell me that you're not ready yet, or you don't want this. You don't spend 4 years of your life on something that you don't want, you just don't.
     
    If you love me, prove it VJR, I'm waiting..
     
    as always.

Tuesday, 09 June 2009

  • It hurts to want someone that you can't have..be it because you're in a relationship, or if there's the possibility that everything is one sided. It's even worse when the predicament applies to both cases..

    Feelings come and go...I don't want to risk what I already have..even though what I already have doesn't always make me happy...

    I'll be ok once everything passes..

    I'MSTRONGI'MSTRONGI'MSTRONG

    ..I hope.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

  • And it's times like this that I let life get to me. I'm so tired of financial problems..and the sad part is that everone is facing them, not just me. I'm tired of working my ass off during the day and staying up all night to do homework.  I didn't sleep until 7:30 a.m. yesterday because I worked all weekend, but had 2 papers due today at the same time.  But if I don't work, then I can't survive.  I'm the only one working out of my family (Mom & Vince).  There's so much pressure put on me, but for what? I still get bitched at, I'm still not appreciated.  Earlier, I asked Vince to help me fill out a Management (Lead) application for work.  He starts to answer the questions himself, but asks me for my opinion.  I tell him what I thought of some of the answers, and he gets mad at me and deletes it.  If you don't want my opinion, then why ask?  He say's that it's MY application, so what's the logic behind that?
     
    So now I don't know if I'll get the application in on time..and it frustrates me..because my mom no longer has an income, and sooner or later, probably sooner more than later, we're going to run out of funds to pay for the utilities bills.  I'm working so much, but it's not like I'm getting paid enough to help out with the bills.  I only get paid enough to support myself..and lately Vince..who needs to get his work situation sorted out.
     
    I'm so frustrated, tired, hurt..everything.  When will I get a break from it all?

Saturday, 06 December 2008

  • The end of my first official semester at Maryland is finally wrapping up..I CAN'T WAIT!! I definitely need a long ass break..I've been working my ass of at Maryland since fucken July...about damn time!
     
    And around this time is when I'm temporarily out of a job until next season starts off for Six Flags..Sucks that I'm broke during the holidays..sucks even more that there's 2 additions to the family and I can't get everybody gifts like I used to. This means that Retail needs to promote me ASAP!!! I'm hoping for a position as lead next season, and I've been working my ass off all summer to get there...and if that doesn't work out, I don't know how long I'll be staying at SFA. *shrugs*
     
    On the other hand, I took my math placement test for the second time on Thursday..and I finally placed in 113!! This means I won't be THAT behind with my credits..what matters if that I'm on my way to 220.
     
    Oh yeahh..I turned 18 on Tuesday...nothing special I guess. Had dinner with Vince, Victoria, Korean Chris, and Lucy at Fridays..then came back to my house and chilled.  I'll be having more fun later on today with the rest of my friends ^_^
     
    Scary thing about my birthday is that an ex-best friend has been pulling some crazy stalker shit. I've already had several dreams of him stalking me, and now it just got worse!! First, he sends me a message on facebook saying "happy birthday old friend...i miss you" and the next thing you know, I walk into my house that night to find a gift on my couch with a note attached saying "happy birthday...from an old friend."  If that isn't STALKERish then I don't know what is..I just wish he would leave me alone..The friendship is over with, just let it be.
     
    Speaking of friends...everyone is talking about having an IB reunion. I'm fine with that, what bothers me is that everybody is taking advantage of me again.  I know that my house is the "party/meet up" spot..but does it hurt to ASK me instead of volunteering my house? I don't have a problem with having THEIR parties here or whatever, but just ask first...
     
    Anywhoooo, I'm having a mild case of insomia...but I guess that has to do with the fact that I sleep too much during the day. To end of this entry...
     
    I love my BubbaWubbaLubba

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

  • "The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."

    -Marvin Jay M. Torres

    This relationship is harder than it really should be, but at the same time, I can't stop loving him.  He's the beat to my heart, forget breathing, he's the one who keeps me going.  I sacrifice myself to him..tear myself apart inside and out in hopes that he could see how much I love him, yet..he doesn't.  He turns a blind eye to all of my sacrifices, yet that makes me open up even more.  The more that he holds back from me, the more that I chase him.  Am I wrong? I can't help my feelings..and I know that what I'm feeling is real. 3 years dedicated to him..and only him..and through all of the pain, I've never regretted it.  I'd go through it over and over again as long as I know that I'm with him in the end.  I love him with my every existence, I've given him all of me...but I'm still patiently waiting for him to return the favor...

    Amara Tek

    Vincent James Ronquillo

    Established October 2005

    Official since May 30, 2007

     

    When love won't let you, walk away
    And you can't help who you love
    And you find yourself giving it all away
    When you think you're in love

    I wanna be the one who you believe
    In your heart is sent from heaven
    There's a piece of me who leaves when you're gone
    Because you're sent from heaven

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